Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
