if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
