When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize