Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
