i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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