okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My life is pants optional.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize