Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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