Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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