I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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