so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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