doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You're like the curious george of whores
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
