Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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