I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize