Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
