i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
