Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize