I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize