He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
