My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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