I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
