I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
