No more Irish car bombs ever.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
