If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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