Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
