He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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