her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
