Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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