Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
