Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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