Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
