just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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