Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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