Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
