I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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