Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I look better un-naked...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
