Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
