If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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