I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
