I must be too annoying 4 u.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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