I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think people are normalizing furries
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
