I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
