Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
