she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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