You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
