Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
