I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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