Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
