he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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