hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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