you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
