I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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