stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
