I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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