I am puke
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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