I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Houston, we have a squirter
So squirting runs in the family.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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