so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Randomize
