I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
