Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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