At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
