Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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