Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
