Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
