Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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