just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
